Looking for Spring

speedwell

A light exist in spring

Not present on the year

At any other period -

When March is scarcely here 

... Emily Dickinson

Emily and Rebekah

Photo by Rebekah

A color stands abroad 

On solitary fields 

That science cannot overtake 

But human nature feels

 It waits upon the lawn

It shows the furthest tree 

Upon the furthest slope you know

It almost speaks to you

Henbit

 Robert Lewis Stevenson

 So when the earth is alive with gods

And the lusty plowman breaks the sod,

And the grass sings in the meadows.

And the flowers smile in the shadows,

Sits my heart at ease, 

Hearing the song of the leas,

Singing the songs of the meadows. 

Now

I've been thinking about my seemingly constant longing for what I don't have. I struggle to live in the moment I am in; thinking that things could be, and should be, so much better. Where is the line between wanting to do better, to be better and to wanting to have better? And even this begs the question, why must I always be better? Why can't I just be?

I am trying to quiet my mind; trying to hear God rather than to keep filling my mind with more and more and more information about what I should do, be, and have. Live now, not live for later.

However, this discipline is escaping me despite my best intentions.

I think this will be a longer process than I originally thought. Probably will be a day by day reminding, to put down the information, the opinions, and to pick up the quiet.